Soccer mad zoo bosses in Austria have assembled a squad of players for the Euro 2024 that really are a bunch of animals – on and off the pitch.
Vienna’s Schoenbrunn Zoo turned to former Inter Milan star and local football legend Herbert Prohaska to assemble a world-beating squad from their line up.
Prohaska, 68, will be commentating on the tournament for Austrian TV from the kick off on 14th June.
But he took time out to put his lifetime of experience on and off the pitch to pick the zoo’s star players.
Prohaska revealed: “In goal, naturally, there’s an octopus.
“With eight arms instead of just two, it’s impossible to concede a goal. So, we always play securely, keeping a clean sheet.”
Prohaska then selected a pair of huge, half-ton African elephants in defence to crush any attacks and ensure no opposing forwards came near the goal.
He said: “The elephant instils fear in the opposing team with its size and body mass. Additionally, it surely possesses a powerful shot.
“And if needed, it can simply push aside the opponent with its trunk.”
Prohaska picked wiley, ever-watchful meerkats for the crucial midfield role, explaining: “They always have an overview.
“A midfielder needs exactly that – control over the entire pitch. He is always alert and looks to see where a teammate is free.”
Surprisingly to some pundits, he picked tiny round-eared elephant shrews for his strikers.
Fiercely aggressive when defending their homes, they also have the advantage of being partially colour-blind, so they’ll never even see a red card.
Prohaska confided: “The opposing defence cannot stop the nimble little creatures. This also ensures that the necessary goals are scored.”
But a training video of the squad’s potential revealed there might be some teething trouble in the lineup.
Although the octopus is certainly a safe four pairs of hands, once the ball gets into the grips of its powerful tentacles, it shows a marked reluctance to let go.
While the elephants are certainly powerful, it’s uncertain if using their trunks would qualify as handballs.
And although the shrews and meerkats are certainly fast on the ball, they only seem interested when keepers sprinkle it with food.
Zoo director Stephan Hering-Hagenbeck said: “The selection of the professional shows that the animals are superior to us in many aspects.
“We wish the Austrian national team every success at EURO 2024!”
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Story By: Georgina Jadikovska, Sub-Editor: Michael Leidig, Agency: Newsflash
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